


icarus

by itisjosh



Series: change won't come if we don't begin [5]
Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Adopted Sibling Relationship, Adoption, Anxiety, Attempted Murder, Betrayal, Bounty Hunters, Depression, Dissociation, Fear, Fire, Fluff, Friends to Enemies, Gen, Heavy Angst, Intrusive Thoughts, Minor Injuries, Music, On the Run, Scars, Separation Anxiety, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:07:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27052399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itisjosh/pseuds/itisjosh
Summary: Wilbur feels the air catch in his lungs, pain ripping through his entire body as he falls to the ground, desperately trying to scramble away from the hands of the hunters behind him. He can hear Schlatt screaming behind him, and everything goes silent, waves crashing over his body."Hey, Wilbur. You'll be okay, alright? You'll be fine."He wishes that was true.
Relationships: Dave | Technoblade & Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit & Phil Watson, Jschlatt & Wilbur Soot
Series: change won't come if we don't begin [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1939360
Comments: 56
Kudos: 429





	1. look who's digging their own grave

Will screams, his eyes watering as the fire rages everywhere around him, burning his back and hands. " _Dad!_ " He shouts, an explosion throwing him back. He crashes into a tree, feeling pain splinter up into his head, his legs going numb. No, no..he can't..he can't..not here. What happened? How did this happen to him? He was never supposed to die like this, he was never supposed to die. His parents always said he was special, that he was destined to do great things. How can he do good things if he dies? Will feels tears tracking down his face, fear pounding in his head. He gasps for air, his lungs filling with smoke as he breathes. He can't breathe. Will can't breathe, he's choking on smoke and soot and he can't breathe and he's dying he's dying he's dy-

He feels arms wrap around his waist, screaming at the agony that rips through his chest. He feels himself being flung over someone's shoulder, feels the blood and wind pound in his ears, his heart hammering in his chest. His lungs scream at him to breathe, but he's so afraid that if he breathes there'll be more smoke and he'll choke again. Will sobs, air flooding back into his lungs. The smoke burns his eyes, the fire lashing at his face as he's moved. The entire world starts to spin, his breath cutting short again, his chest seizing, depriving him of oxygen. He was supposed to do good things. He was supposed to be important. It can't end, not..not like this, not like this, no, _no_ , no-

He hears screaming echo in his head, the cries of his parents and friends ringing in his ears. He hears another explosion, feels the warmth of the fire on his skin. 

Maybe this is what his dad meant.

* * *

Will stares at the sky, his head screaming at him. Where..where is he? He winces when he tries to sit up, a wave of pain hitting him. "Oh, fuck," he turns to look at the voice, and..oh. He stares at the boy, taking in his features. He's not entirely human. He's..why does he look like that? "Hi. I'm Jschlatt. You're finally awake, man. I thought..I didn't know if I did a good enough job on the bandages," Jschlatt smiles at him, eyes a little rounder than they probably should be. "Um, my family always used to call me Schlatt for short. I never saw you in the village. Were you just stopping by?"

"I- no," he winces, his throat raw and sore. "W- water?"

"Fuck, sorry," Schlatt reaches for a bottle, moving to sit in front of him. "Can you sit up, man?" Will tries his best, agony shooting up his body. He barely manages to flop back against Schlatt's chest, exhaustion pressing at his skull. He barely even moved, and he's..he's already so, so tired. "Okay," Schlatt gives him the bottle, and Will downs all of it within a matter of seconds, relief coursing through him. "Do you have a name?"

"Um.." Will swallows, rocking himself back and forth as much as he can. "I- I'm Wilbur." He lies. It's close enough to his real name, but he doesn't..

"Nice to meet you, Wilbur!" Schlatt beams down at him, his hair dangling over his horns. _Horns?_ "I don't think my parents made it out," he admits, voice going quiet. "I tried to get as many people out as I could, bu they just..I'm..I wasn't strong enough. I'm sorry that you lost yours," he murmurs, closing his eyes. "I wasn't strong enough to grab any adults. I only could pick up you."

Will nods, head feeling heavy and tired. "It's..it's okay. I..thank you, Schlatt."

"Don't thank me," Schlatt shrugs. "I just..you know? I didn't..I didn't want to be alone. Which is selfish and stupid, but I just..I don't like being alone. Do you like being alone, Wilbur?"

"Not at all," he whispers. "I hate it. I hate the silence that comes with it." 

Schlatt nods back, wrapping his arms around him. "Me too. We..we're gonna have to stick together, right? We'll stick together. I've got nowhere else to go. Do you?"

"No." Schlatt nods again.

"Okay, then. We'll stick together."

* * *

Wilbur trudges through the forest, listening to his best friend idly chat away, spewing bullshit about..something. Wilbur, admittedly, stopped listening a couple of minutes ago, but he likes to hear it, anyways. Even if he's not paying attention to the words, he still likes to hear Schlatt's voice. It reminds him that he isn't alone, that he's still got someone. That he's got his best friend with him. "And so," Schlatt rumbles, voice a little deeper than it had been a couple of months ago. "I told him that wasn't gonna work. So he got real angry, puffed out like this," he juts his chest out. "And goes, _oh_ , you think you can stop me, little sheep-boy? And so I fuckin' batter rammed him in the chest with my horns, he starts screaming, and I-"

"Schlatt," Wilbur laughs, reaching over to flick his friend's shoulder. "Shut up. You've been talking for an hour now, I swear." Schlatt grins at him, giving him a familiar, half-hearted shrug.

"Hey, you said you don't like being alone. That you don't like the silence. I'm just making sure that doesn't happen, Wilbur. I'm being a great friend," he beams, ducking his head for half a second. "Uh, I mean, I _can_ shut up, I don't have to kee-"

Wilbur holds up a hand, smiling back at his friend. "Thank you, Schlatt. Next town we stop into, we should get some more arrows. Rabbits are getting harder to catch now, especially in this area."

"You might just be shit at catching them," Schlatt points out. "I've never had a problem."

"You've got more stamina than I do," Wilbur reminds him. "I'm fully human." 

Schlatt shrugs, looking proud of himself. "What can I say, Wilbur?" He grins, spinning on his heels. "Some of us are just better than others." Wilbur sighs, punching Schlatt in the shoulder.

"Cocky little wanker."

"What the fuck does that even _mean_?" 

* * *

Wilbur feels the air catch in his lungs, pain ripping through his entire body as he falls to the ground, desperately trying to scramble away from the hands of the hunters behind him. He can hear Schlatt screaming behind him, and everything goes silent, waves crashing over his body. _Not again_. He feels an arrow pierce through his leg, but it doesn't hurt as much as he thought it would. 

"Wilbur!" Schlatt howls, trying his best to reach him, latching onto his leg. "Wilbur, I'm-" Wilbur turns, watching as- _no!_ Schlatt's eyes go huge, his grip loosening. The hunter rips his sword out of Schlatt's back, snapping his head towards Wilbur. "Be safe, Will." Schlatt coughs, blood trickling down his face. 

He drags himself across the ground, fingers digging into the dirt. It takes him a few seconds before he manages to push himself back up, legs trembling underneath him as he races through the forest. His body shouts at him to stop, to just let it happen. To die, to give in and fucking die. But he won't, he can't. He can't, now now. Wilbur keeps running, nearly crashing into- 

"Please, ple- please help, there's someone chasing me, and I don't-"

"Alright," the man moves him away, shifting so he's in front of him. "It'll be alright. Hi. My name's Phil, I'm a mage. That's-"

"Techno." 

Wilbur watches as the hunters die, getting slaughtered by Techno and Phil. He watches as they drop to the ground, blood oozing out of their wounds. 

"Do you have anyone with you? Anyone who you live with?" He opens his mouth to say Schlatt, but..he doesn't. Schlatt is dead. He watched him die. He- he..

Wilbur sobs, crashing into Phil, clutching desperately at him. He sobs until he can't anymore, wishing that he had died with his best friend.

* * *

Wilbur leans back against Techno, closing his eyes as he hums. Techno doesn't say anything - he doesn't say a lot. Wilbur wishes that he'd talk more. He hate silence, he hates it. He hates it so much. "I- I like to sing," Wilbur murmurs, fear flaring up in his chest. "Do you..do you want to..um, to hear?" Techno is quiet for a little longer, and disappointment starts to sink into his heart. Wilbur wishes he didn't ask, he wishes-

"Yeah," Techno mumbles. "Yeah. I..I've got a guitar somewhere," he whispers. "I think it was Phil's. Do you want it?"

"That..that'd be nice." He murmurs back, letting Techno move. It's only a few minutes of silence, but it's enough to make his heart start to race, his entire body screaming at him to find someone. But they all hate him, don't they? That's why they left. It's why Techno's gone, it's why Phil doesn't look at him, it's why Schlatt died, it's why-

"Wilbur?" Techno's voice breaks the silence, his anxieties washing away in a moment, flooding back a second later. He feels himself start to cry, tears pouring down his face. What the hell is wrong with him? Why does he..why.. "Hey," Techno sits down next to him, wrapping his arms around him. "You're okay. I'm sorry," he says the words softly, and Wilbur's never heard his voice this soft. "I shouldn't have left. I'm here, okay? I'm not goin' anywhere, promise."

"Everyone said that." Wilbur whispers, heart shattering in his chest all over again. He thought he was done hurting when his parents died. 

Techno cups the back of his head, fingers threading through his hair. "I _mean_ it, Wilbur. I don't go back on promises. I'm not goin' anywhere. I'm here, Wilbur. I'm not gonna leave. I.." he breathes out. "I love you, Wilbur. You're my little br- my little brother, right? And I'm your older brother. It's my job to keep you safe, right? My job to make sure you're okay. I'm gonna do that job, got it? I'm not gonna let anythin' happen to you." 

"You.." Wilbur closes his eyes, squeezing Techno back even more, burying his head into the other's shoulder. "I love you too, Techno."

They stay like that for a long time, and Wilbur wouldn't have it any other way.


	2. there's a reason they fail

_Terror fills his chest as he runs, agony drawing him to the ground. Wilbur tries so hard to run, he tries to get away. But they're right there, they're right behind him. He hears Schlatt screaming, his scream echoing in his ears. He sounds like he's dying, Wilbur wishes he wasn't, Wilbur wishes he could help, he wishes he was- he feels the sword go down his chest, a scream getting cut short by his throat seizing up. He grabs at the wound, trying to block it, trying to keep the blood from pooling around him. Wilbur manages to roll over, staring at Schlatt. "Hey, man," Schlatt cries, his eyes already going hollow, already going blank. "It was a good run, right?"_

_"This wasn't meant to happen," Wilbur whispers, refusing to close his eyes. If he closes his eyes, he'll never open them again. "I'm so sorry."_

_"Not your fault," Schlatt wheezes, blood oozing out of his mouth, staining his white shirt. "Hey. Love you, Wilbur. I'll see you later, okay?"_

_"I love you too, Schlatt," Wilbur smiles back at him, reaching out for his friend's hand. "See you soon."_

Wilbur shoots up, his eyes watering. He stares down at Techno, who..he's not sleeping. Techno blinks back up at him, one eyebrow raised. "Bad dream?" It isn't much of a question, it's more of a statement. Techno has them, too. He has them a lot. 

"Yeah," Wilbur murmurs, flopping back down on the bed. He snuggles closer to Techno, who lets him. For the first few weeks, Techno didn't like it. He didn't like to be touched, didn't like being clung onto. But now, now he's..he's gotten used to it. Or maybe he likes it? Maybe he needs it as much as Wilbur does. "I had someone," he whispers, closing his eyes. "His name is- it..it was Schlatt. Jschlatt. He was my best friend. When I..when you found me, I was running with him, and they got him, Techno," Wilbur swallows, tears threatening to spill. "They killed him. It should have been me." 

Techno is quiet for a few moments, patting Wilbur's back as a comfort. Wilbur knows his love language by now - that's what Phil calls it. He's bad at communicating his feelings, he's scared to. Wilbur is scared, too. "It should have been me, too," Techno murmurs. "They killed my older brother. His name was Fruitberries. He went by Fruit, and he was one of the best fighters I've ever met. He was a hunter. He was an old hunter, he got..he got recruited when they were still good. He was only nine when he was forced into it. They had morals and stuff back then. He taught me everythin' I know, and then he..then I watched him die. I took him back to our home, and he died there. It shouldn't have been him. He was a good person." 

"Oh," Wilbur looks up at Techno, who doesn't meet his eyes. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't be," Techno smiles back down at him, reaching out to ruffle his hair. "Fruit wouldn't have wanted me to be sad. He told me to smile when he was dyin'. He was always a goddamn optimist," he sighs, his chest raising dramatically. "Listen, Wilbur. I know that it should've been me, not Fruit. But it was me, I was the one who got lucky. And Fruit would've been so _pissed_ at me if I decided to throw that all away. He'd never forgive me. I don't believe in anythin' after this, but if there was, he'd beat the shit out of me if I joined him before I was 'sposed to. I know Schlatt feels the same way, okay? Maybe it should have been you. Maybe Schlatt should have lived. But there's nothin' you can do about it now. You've just gotta live with it." 

Wilbur processes the words, quietly humming to himself. It..it makes sense. Schlatt would have been so angry if he had died, too. Schlatt wouldn't have let it happen. Schlatt would have died with him, he was so reckless and impulsive, and..he wouldn't have run. He'd have tried to fight them, and he'd die, too. "You're right." He whispers, wishing that he wasn't.

"I always am," Techno grins, closing his eyes. "Now, go back to sleep. I'll be here when you wake up. Night, Wilbur." 

"Goodnight, Techno." 

He closes his eyes, listening to Techno's heartbeat. Maybe things can get better from here.

* * *

Wilbur smiles, quietly walking behind Phil. He feels his heart panic a little, stuttering for half a second. Wilbur wants to call him dad. But is he allowed to do that? Techno barely even calls him dad, and Phil says that Techno is his son, so..is that not allowed? Does Phil not like being called dad? Wilbur shoves his hands in his pockets. Phil gave him a coat. It's way too big for him, but Wilbur refuses to take it off. "So, um.." he swallows, nervousness spiking in his chest. "Um.."

"What's up, Will?" Phil stops, tilting his head. _Fuck_. Wilbur knows that that was his name a long time ago, but it isn't anymore. The music goes quiet for a few seconds, before it comes back, louder than ever. Ever since Wilbur started to stay here, he's been hearing music. No one else hears it, but he does. It never goes away, it's like the forest and house is singing to him. He likes it. Wilbur likes the music. "Wilbur?"

"I love you, dad." He blurts out, hands shaking. 

Phil's face goes from concern to shock to pure joy, a grin splitting his face. "I love you too, _son_ ," Phil laughs, kneeling down to scoop Wilbur up. "I didn't think you'd ever call me that."

"I didn't.." Wilbur shakes his head, nervousness ebbing away a second later. "I didn't think you liked being called it. Because Techno never does, and I didn't-"

"I love it," Phil tells him, pulling him even closer. "Techno calls me dad. Not often, but he does. You're my son, too, Wilbur. Both of you are, okay? I love you. I love you so much, it's..it's ridiculous. I'm so glad you're safe. I'm so glad I found you." 

Wilbur grins, burying his head in the crook of his dad's neck, joy raging through him. "Thank you." He whispers, and that's all he needs to say.

* * *

Wilbur crouches down, holding the flowers in his hands. "Hi, Schlatt," he murmurs, setting them down on his grave. Wilbur wishes that there was a body he could see. The hunters took Schlatt's body, they had to have to. When he first came here, Wilbur went back looking for his body, looking for his friend. There was nothing but a smear of blood and bloodied footprints. "So, um.." he swallows, the music pitching. "I'm really sorry. It wasn't my fault. Techno and dad tell me that a lot, but it's hard to remember. It wasn't either of our faults. I'm still so sorry. It should have been me."

"I hope you're doing well," the music calms down, singing him a much quieter lullaby. "A lot has happened. It's been..um, almost a year? I don't know, I'll have to ask. But yeah, um..I hope you're okay, Schlatt. God, I hope you're okay," he whispers, tears trailing down his face. "I don't know if there's something after this life, but I hope there is. God, I fucking hope there is. And if there is, you better be okay, you got it? I can't..I don't want you to ever hurt again. I'm sorry I couldn't get you with me in time. I'm sorry I couldn't drag you with me. Phil and Techno never would have found us, and we'd both have died. Maybe..maybe that would have been better. I don't know. I miss you, a lot." 

Wilbur closes his eyes, the music humming a little softer now. "I don't know if I should have died with you. I'm so scared, Schlatt. I'm terrified that they'll come back and kill me. I don't know if they will. Techno promised that they won't, since the compass is gone now, but I..I don't know. I wish I wasn't weak. I wish I was strong enough to help them fight. I'm just..I'm just some stupid fucking orphan that got his life saved so many times. I've never done anything good, either," he laughs, a hollow sound echoing in his ears. "I've never done anything good. I just leech off of everyone else, I just cling. I'm a fucking _child_ , huh?" 

"I have to return the favours, Schlatt, I have to. I can't..I can't keep idly sitting here, just doing _nothing_. I've been nothing but a burden, and I..I'm so tired, Schlatt. I'm so, so tired. I wish you were here. I miss you. I miss you so much. You..you remember my song? The one I'd always sing to you when you had a hard time sleeping? I think I finished it. It's..I don't know what it's called, but I think I finished it. Here, let me.." Wilbur pulls the guitar off of his back, strumming once. "I'm sorry if I'm off-key."

And so he sings, raw and broken. 


End file.
